“Sometimes when I need a miracle, I look into my daughter’s eyes and realize I’ve already been given one.” ~unknown
I, like most parents, believe that I am truly blessed to have such wonderful children! There is a sense of pride that you get from watching your children grow from angelic, innocent, adorable babies to loving, courageous and inquisitive young adults. Being a mother for two decades now has truly been a joy that has gifted me with numerous invaluable lessons. I have done some things well and I have made some mistakes. As I recently supported my 20 year old daughter in realizing a dream of hers, I was inspired to share with others just a few pearls of wisdom I’ve gained over the years.
Know the power of the word. There is power in what we say. It is important to use power words with our daughters like confidence, leader, intelligent, tenacious, and courageous. What we say to our children and what we think of them really does matter. Words of encouragement are always powerful. Focusing on what our daughters CAN do is much better than focusing on what you think they CAN’T do. Don’t discourage her from discovering her unique talents and abilities because you are concerned about her getting her hopes up and experiencing rejection. There is something magical that happens when you encourage your daughter to dream big and live bigger!
Arm your daughter with a sense of self-worth! Our daughters are bombarded with messages that try to sexualize them. It is important to teach our daughters that their worth comes from who they are on the inside and not their appearance. Arm your daughter with a sense of self-worth by bombarding her with positive messages that are about character building. You can do this by matching every compliment you give about your daughter’s appearance with at least two compliments about something non-appearance based like her intelligence, sense of humor or her compassion towards others. Also, you can look to literature to enhance her sense of self-worth. Personally, I am a fan of Maya Angelou’s poem, Phenomenal Women (I’m a woman, Phenomenally, Phenomenal woman, That’s me). Now those are some power words to share with a daughter that can definitely build a sense of self-worth.
Model body acceptance. Seven out of every 10 girls believe that they are not good enough or don’t measure up. As mothers, we can significantly influence our daughters’ body image. Most likely, if you’re not happy with your body or the way you look, your daughter won’t be happy with the way she looks. Be cautious about putting yourself down and saying things like, “I look fat” or “I look ugly.” Saying negative things about your appearance can negatively impact your daughter. Make a deal with yourself to regularly practice positive affirmations (e.g., “I love and approve of myself”) and see what a difference it can make for you and your daughter.
So there you have it- just a few of the lessons I have learned over the years. My daughter is compassion, courage, gentleness, intellect and beauty woven together to create a tapestry of greatness. She feels good in her own skin and she is able to take risks, dream big and live bigger. She inspires me to reach my fullest potential and make my dreams come to life. I am so proud of the young lady that she has become. Watch out world- there is one strong woman that is going to shake things up!
